so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
