Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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