Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
