Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I look better un-naked...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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