I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
