That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
