she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
there is glitter all over my balls
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
