Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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