i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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