yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize