after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
