So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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