Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
