i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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