On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
