Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
