please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
