oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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