physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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