Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
