So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
