I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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