Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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