Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
