i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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