I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
