TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize