anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
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