um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
