i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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