Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
