She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
