what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
