They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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