Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
