maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Who died my cat blue again?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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