I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
