Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
