I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
