we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
