p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
that may or may not have been my penis.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize