Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
