i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
