I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
