i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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