you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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