im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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