you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
