she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
