Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
