ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
