nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
