WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
