guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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