you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
