i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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