I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
